Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why did lobsters evolve bright colors if they are neither poisonous nor venomous?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What is your best gay fantasy?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Who was the guy that had sex with the AIDS monkey?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Tom Hanks finally breaks his silence on daughter’s bombshell memoir: ‘Not surprised’ - New York Post

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why do American conservatives say that America is a constitutional republic and not a democracy? Would it not make sense to call America a constitutional republican democracy?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

NASA Discovers Strange X-Shaped Structures in Earth’s Upper Atmosphere - Indian Defence Review

I can count

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

FAA will restrict flights at Newark airport through end of year - NJ.com

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Latest AirPods Pro 2 feature is ahead of its time in the best way - 9to5Mac

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Largest Horned Dinosaur Ever Found Looks Like It Walked Off a Marvel Set - Indian Defence Review

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

First glimpse of a charred scroll after two millennia thanks to AI and X-rays - Earth.com

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn’t transparent about his past, it hurts me and he doesn’t care. I told him in the beginning of our relationship that it was a deal breaker for me what do I do?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I see through liars

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t